Hindsight Parenting: Special People


When I meet up with those who are disinclined to do what is best for my child, it is probably time to find someone else to do that particular job, or time to find another group in which she can take part because there are many special people out there who are willing to do what right no matter what. And our special daughter deserves those special people in her special life because, after all, she’s so special …to us.

She’s just a girl. Not special. Not any different than any other toddler. She’s infatuated with Princess Sofia and Doc McStuffins. She has a stuffed lamb, Mi Mi, who she can’t be without. She adores her daddy and loves playing school because her mommy is a teacher. She’s a pint size philosopher who packs a punch with wise words that are seemingly beyond MY years. But she isn’t special. She’s just another child in a world of children.

But to us, her father and me, she is everything. She is quite extraordinary and yes…she is special; special in ways that are too numerous to ever recount in a single post let alone a single novel.

But she also has special needs. She needs help making her muscles strong; to get her core to fire, her left thigh to not fail her, her ankles to hold her steady. She needs help getting her fingers to work in a coordinated way so that pulling a sticker off a paper isn’t a monumental marathon-like task. She needs wait time so that her mind can map out a succession of movements. She has needs…special needs.

Over these last few years, I have been awestruck with the humans that we have encountered; professionals whose sole desire is to get her to develop to be her best self. On the way to stronger muscles and more coordinated fingers, they have taught her the satisfaction of persistence, the wonderful feeling of meeting goals, the necessity to pay attention and follow directions and the invaluable knowledge that a desire to work hard even if it is inconvenient or difficult is one of the most important characteristic one could possess. For these humans who have a constant presence in my daughter Ila’s life, I am more grateful than I could ever pen. Our daughter is special, as special to these helping humans as she is to us.

As with most toddlers, she belongs to many different types of groups. Each “group” has a leader. And while many are willing and able participants in our quest provide every opportunity for Ila’s brain to develop new pathways for movement and the processing of that movement, unfortunately, we have also come across humans, adults, who see our daughter’s special needs as a burden; “an extra thing to do.” Read the rest of this entry »

Q&A: 12 Suggestions for Including Babies During Family Dinner


When your kids were babies, how did you include them at the dinner table?

Jennifer Shiao Page writes, “Well, when she was a wee one, we always ate when she was asleep. Once she could sit up, we put her in the high chair and she sat at the table with us. We always gave her appropriately-sized bits of whatever we were eating, for her to eat on her own (or not). We did child-led weaning, which is basically forgoing baby food and pureed food, and letting her experience the texture and taste of our food. It helped to not have to spoon-feed her.”

Carrie St John writes, “My daughter has always preferred being at eye level-sling or soft back pack instead of a stroller. Also true at the dinner table, so from about 1 month to 4 months she would be in the middle of the table (big table). Right in the action. Once she started rolling, she sat on my lap. Once she could sit, close to 6 months, she was in one of those baby seats that goes right up to the table, not a traditional high chair which tends to be back from the table. She was always right there being a part of the conversation.”

Rebecca Dejnak Svan writes, “High chair. Loved it.  It’s at table height and we started eating together as soon as they could be in it.”

Rebecca Trow Addison writes, “At 7 months our daughter had her 1st Thanksgiving and she ate everything we ate. Just cut it up small.”

Judie Isabella writes, “When mine were too little for high chairs, I’d put them right up on the table in their baby seat. When they could sit in high chairs, I would pull it right up to the table… Always… We still do have the best family dinners.”

Kerri Recore Vassar writes, “While infants they seemed to know when we were eating, so typically they nursed while I ate. As they grew, some times they were in a high chair or on my lap.”

Eileen Collins writes, “I rescued a Victorian bent wood high chair, bought a 4 point harness to secure my daughter and kept the table portion of the high chair always flipped back. This way I could push her high chair up to our table. She was at eye level and enjoyed having her meals with us.”

Janet McLaurin writes, “We have hooks in a beam right at the head of the table and we hung a baby airplane swing there-so I guess the boys started at the table but then if they got bored or fussy they ended up gently swinging often ending up asleep -family dinner time is important-good time to gather together.”

Olivia Leone writes, “Our children were always at the dinner table with us, in their high chair (tray off an pulled up to the table), in a booster seat and now in chairs. No matter how busy our lives get, we make sure to sit together at the dinner table even if it means on dance nights we don’t eat until 7, or when track starts, we picnic.”

Barb Raymond writes, “With love and patience.”

Julie Rodrigues Tanguay writes, “In a ring-sling, on our laps, in a swing next to us, on our laps, in the carriage, on our laps, in the highchair reclined, on our laps, in the highchair, ON our laps, in a booster, ON OUR LAPS, in a chair. Our dining room table is in the center our house, and that is a time and place we go to “talk out” any of the days events & plans for the days to come.”

Susan Lillie Robert writes, “When our girls were little we always included them at the table to teach them about proper manners and family time, we would also take them out to eat to show them how one acts out if public. We were always commented on how well behaved they were.”

[Photo credit: (ccl) Daniel James]

Hindsight Parenting: New Year’s Resolutions for Parents

Leaving Stressors Outside the Front Door for the New Year!

January; the month of promises to change, to improve, to start anew. We usually are gung-ho, walkin’ that treadmill, drinking those smoothies, foregoing those nasty cigarettes for…well…awhile. But let’s be honest, Hindsight tells us that we rarely CHANGE…I mean REALLY CHANGE. Pretty soon that treadmill is collecting laundry that hasn’t quite dried, those smoothies are impossible to drink because the blender is broken and what starts as just one cigarette while out with friends goes right back to a pack a day habit (Yes, my dear friend whom I love to pieces…I am talking about YOU and those blasted cigarettes. I want you to live a long life…so sue me!)… Read the rest of this entry »

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