Parenting Possibilities: The Relief of Yielding to the Other Parent

Life is Like a Rotary

Last month my column post The Co-Parenting Dance was part one of an experiment I decided to embark on with my partner, the love of my life for the last (gulp!) 14 years. To catch you up, my partner and I are both equally involved, strong-minded women and parents which often brings complication along with it’s joys. At the time I wrote my last post I was having a particularly challenging time. All our decisions around parenting were feeling like constant negotiation and I was tiring from the dynamic…

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Parenting Possibilities: Challenges of Same-Sex Co-Parenting

The Co-Parenting Dance

We are both very involved and strongly opinionated as women and mothers. We both have dedicated our lives to our work/career as long as that means we can be available for our kids when they need us. This “doubling up” is often wonderful but at times creates an experience of constant negotiation…

Many people ask me what it is like to be married to a woman and to co-parent together. Some ask out of pure curiosity as the concept seems so unique to them. Others ask out of envy as they think partnering with a woman would have advantages and moments of ease that heterosexual couples or single parents could only dream of. Sometimes it does.

Rarely though is it considered that there may be very challenging aspects of co-parenting as two women no matter how healthy and loving the partnership is. Just the weight and knowledge of how much discrimination for same sex couples still exist creates an obstacle from the beginning.

There are also absolutely no rules or roles pre-prescribed to the game. My partner and I have to figure out each aspect of parenting as is comes. No one is “supposed” to do anything. This is very freeing but can also get totally complicated. For example, just deciding who would be the birth mom to our kids was certainly an interesting way to kick things off…

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